“Now I know…”

This was said to me a couple of times over the past 2 weeks, both by women, after a relationship ended.  It’s almost like when they were in the relationship they were blinded by the negativity or forgot how to think for themselves.  I must admit, I’ve been there before and said those words too.  But why?  What is it about being in a relationship that keeps you from seeing what is going on?  One of my friends even stated that now that the relationship was over they could now focus on themselves.  Again I ask, what is it about certain relationships that prevents a person from continuing to grow individually?  I understand that once we get into a serious relationship that we turn away from certain things and put focus onto the relationship, as I think we should, to a certain degree.  But to give up your individual goals and dreams that you wholeheartedly desire, seems wrong to me.  It seems like if anyone is giving up such a huge piece of themselves in a relationship it will only lead to regret and resentment.  “I would be a CEO or Manager by now if I didn’t get married or if I had more time to myself”, “I can finally go back to school now that this relationship is over”.

My thoughts are this:  there are plenty of opportunities to find your Mr or Mrs Right that will still allow you to fulfill your dreams!  Why are people (men and women) giving up such a huge part of themselves for a relationship that will most likely end with resentment and regret?    If you have certain goals prior to the start of a relationship, that should be discussed upfront.  In fact, your goals and desires should always be discussed in a relationship!  You should be making sure that you are with someone who is supportive of your dreams and make sure that you are  willing to do the same.  It took a couple of trial and errors for me personally, but I finally found my rock and my #1 supporter.  Make sure you have yours and don’t settle for anything less!

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