For those of you who are raising your child(ren) alone or with little help…
I recently watched one of Oprah’s Life Class shows about parenting alone.
There was a panel of women who are raising their children alone and here are some interesting reminders and lessons that I wanted to pass on…
- It’s important to remember that your children need to see you having fun! And no, this doesn’t mean watching you come home drunk or being irresponsible. But have fun, read books, sing in the car, dance! Something Ava and I do when I’m trying to get her to hurry in the mornings is I make it fun. I try to make a game out of it, talk in a funny voice and just be silly, seems to work for us.
- Parenting alone is stressful, remember to focus on what you have and not what you don’t have. Stop wishing, be in the moment. This way you can make the most of every opportunity that comes your way!
- I have heard this before and heard it on the show as well… “I stayed this long, why can’t I stay until my child turns 18?” So many unhappy parents stay together for the sake of the children. They don’t realize that even if they are “playing nice”, children see through everything! And the real thing to ask yourself is are you feeling guilty because you didn’t stay longer, or are you feeling guilty because you stayed too long? How long ago did you check out of your marriage/relationship before you finally left?
- For those raising girls, you are showing your daughters what is acceptable in a marriage by staying in an unhealthy marriage/relationship.
- For those raising boys, you are raising someone’s future husband and/or father.
- Children do what they see. Remember to follow your dreams! How can you tell your children to follow their dreams if you aren’t following yours?
- Time. How many times do we not do something with our children because we “don’t have the time”. I know I’m guilty of this. But, really? We need to slow down. Our children are only children for so long…we only get one childhood…
- The main guest was Iyanla Vanzant who is the author of Forgiveness 21 Days to forgive Everyone for Everything. She also asked that when you’re feeling guilty, down, depressed, in a rut, remind yourself:
I am NOT a victim and I have NOT been victimized! I am a woman!
I am growing, learning, healing and bringing my children along with me!
My favorite part of watching this was the statement to stop using the term “single parent”…it’s too confusing, it isn’t about your relationship status, if you’re dating do you say “dating parent”? You are “parenting alone”. 🙂