I saw this type of list while scrolling through my FB feed and wanted to add my own spin…
Here are 6 things that I am constantly working on while raising my daughter:
Don’t keep secrets. Not sharing a birthday surprise is one thing…telling our child not to tell their mom or dad or anyone for that matter, about something/anything is not ok. I just had this conversation with my daughter. I want her to know that she can tell me anything and not get into trouble with me. I don’t want her to think she has to keep secrets. Often times her dad will get upset if she talks about anything that we do…that’s his problem. Why should she have to “hide” things because he’s not able to handle it? And yes, this goes both ways.
Be careful with the teasing. As literal as my daughter is (and most children in general), I have to be careful when it comes to teasing her about things. She always thinks I’m serious. Besides, if we’re teasing to get a laugh at their expense what is that teaching them? This also goes with laughing at them when something “we” think is funny. This happened the other day when my daughter was taking the lid off her water bottle to put in the sink. The lid flew off and she spilt half of the water on her and the floor…I laughed…she cried. I tried to tell her it was ok because it was just water, but she was so upset. I stopped right then and helped her clean it up and change her clothes. Just because something is funny to us, if they aren’t laughing we need to pay attention as to why and remember they are still learning about emotions. I don’t buy the whole “toughen up” lesson, at least not for a 5-year-old.
Put your cell phone/ipad/laptop away. Our children only have one chance at childhood. If they are constantly telling you to put your phone down or to get off the computer, LISTEN! They need your attention now….whatever you’re doing can more than likely wait. I am certainly guilty of this and have recently begun to see that she really just wants to spend time with me and it’s important to jump on those opportunities…I swear I blinked and she turned 5, I don’t want to miss out any more than I already do.
Control your reactions. What are you really upset over? Is it because you had a fight with your significant other or had a bad day at work and you’re now taking it out on your child? Watch what you’re saying and how you’re saying it. We’re all guilty of this. I know I’ve apologized for losing my temper just because I had a bad day. It’s not the child’s fault, but they will always think it is. We don’t want to teach them that it’s ok to hurt others just because we’re having a bad day.
Watch how you treat others. Our children follow by example, not by words. If you are trying to teach them to be kind and not make fun of others, what will they do when they see you doing the opposite? “Do as I say, not as I do” doesn’t work.
Listen to their instinct. I’ve talked about this one a few times before because it’s one of my biggest pet peeves. Why do we teach our children about stranger danger, but then we force them to hug or kiss a relative when they don’t want to? Just because we know someone and like them doesn’t mean our child has to. We need to remember that we have had a long time to get to know someone, we can’t expect a child to have that same connection instantly. If they don’t want to hug someone we need to set our egos aside and let them do what they are comfortable with. If we’re teaching them to ignore their instinct now…to care more about the other person’s feelings, what are they going to do if someone touches them inappropriately later on?
So I’ve seen a few bloggers post pics of what their typical day is like. During the week would just be pictures of me driving and working..so I chose today since I was off. 🙂
Alarm goes off at 6:15am…But I’m as cozy as these two…so I finally get up at 7:10..
Then it was time to get Ava ready for school. We have to leave by 8:15 because we have to drive across town. So the morning consists of getting a quick breakfast ready, coffee to go and backpack with show-and-tell ready to go.
I always have so much to carry… I have snacks for the drive to and from school (seriously, it’s a 30 minute drive each way…), Ava’s in school for just over 2 hours so I always bring things for me to get done. It must be quite entertaining to watch me carry all of this stuff down my apartment stairs…(God forbid I make 2 trips!)
Snacks, purse, laptop, kindle loaded with books to read, & blogger organizer if I get to it….[not pictured are my juice from Tone it Up that boosts my metabolism & my coffee]
It’s funny that we always rush to get out the door, but we’re always early…I’d rather be early than late, so that doesn’t bother me… I take advantage of the extra time… Ava plays with her friends in line and I read..
Once I drop Ava off at school I head over to Starbucks and get to work. I’m normally there from 9:15-10:50am. I catch up on FB, Twitter, and get a chunk of homework done. Today I got 5 out of 8 posts done so I was pretty happy about that!
It’s back to pick Ava up from school by 11:15…then it’s off to meet my babe for lunch.
Then back to our place by 12:45pm for some barbie and stuffed animal time. 🙂
By 2pm we were on our way to pick up our Race packet for the Bubble Run tomorrow. I knew this meant a late nap, but I wanted to go when there weren’t a ton of people there.
Then FINALLY by 3:30 it was nap time!! (and yes, I take naps when she does…I swear it’s the only way I’m still somewhat sane…)
I really don’t like late naps, because it means late nights, but there was no way we were going to make it without one… we slept from about 3:30 until 6:45pm…oops! (I answered a few texts in between, but I slept most of that time!)
7pm- I made a quick light dinner, grilled cheese with a dash of cinnamon = yum!!
7:45pm – Then it was off to Target for some last minute things for our race tomorrow. (and who can go to Target and get only what’s on their list? not me…I love the Psychology Today magazine!)
We were home by 8:30, Ava had a light snack before getting to bed by 9:45pm. This is actually really late for her, which is what I meant by late naps = late nights.
And now for some blogging catch-up and maybe one of my DVR shows. 🙂
Hopefully my late nap won’t mean too late of a night for me, since I do have to be up early for the Bubble Run…oh well, there’s always tomorrow’s nap! 🙂
We’ll be participating in the 2nd Annual Bubble Run on Saturday, but at some point we’ll be getting more books from the library.
Also, I just printed out a ton of Kindergarten worksheets for Ava to do over the summer…I know, I know, it’s only March..but with this kind of stuff once the thought enters my head I have to act on it!
I read a ton of adoption articles and posts. I continuously see the words “the birth mother was so selfless in the adoption process.” I can’t swallow that. Granted some women are in a hard place and their action is what is best for them at the time, but don’t feed me the line “she was selfless.” If anything we might as well change that to “selfish” since the decision is about her. To claim the decision is about the child when that child is not yet even born yet is idiotic to me. I can’t accept that.
As an adoptee I understand the feeling of rejection that often comes with the realization that you were given up. We have TV to thank for providing a myriad of “reasons” why this takes place, but ONLY one reason is ever the “true” reason per individual. That is what many people just don’t…
No matter what your goals are, no matter where you are in your life right now, don’t lose sight of your path. We can become easily distracted that we forget what we are working toward. This is especially true for our long term goals. Just because we don’t expect or think that they are going to happen in the next few days or weeks, doesn’t mean we should act like we have all the time in the world to deal with it. Later needs to be now or the next thing you know your excuses for not getting it done today will become your regret for never doing it.